Connecting the Dots

there are two ways people look at sex. One is from the female perspective, and the other is from the male perspective. The reason there are two perspectives is as old as nature itself.

Lets face facts, sex is the cement between the bricks that builds a relationship, there is no other way to put it. Too little or too much cement changes the structure and thus the strength of the relationship. No cement at all and the first gust of wind and the rest comes crashing down.

The statistics speak for themselves, 85% of all failed relationships cite sex one way or another as a contributing factor. The other 15% cite other reasons such as abuse along with a variety of other things.

The person with the higher libido cites to little sex while the other cites too much sex, thus the dueling perspectives. With that said couples with unmatched libidos, the relationship is already doomed from the word go. Depending on how far apart the libidos are will directly dictate how quickly that will happen. If libidos between couples are withing 10% of each other things should be fine. 15% is a yellow warning flag and 20% difference is a major concern.

The person with the higher libido will attempt to compensate with masturbation, but that is a bit like that space saver spare tire in your car that is only designed to get you to a place where you can fix the regular tire. Meaning masturbation is only a short term fix. Sooner or later that person will go out shopping for a new tire if the old one cant be fixed.

Often the female side of the relation will indicate to a friend in one form or another ‘He always wants sex.’. This essentially is a half right answer. The correct answer is he needs sex. The reason for that is the way men are put together. Nature has made men ready for sex all the time to compensate for the female’s monthly menstrual cycle. There is only a short window of a few days when pregnancy can be achieved. Keeping in mind as far as nature is concerned, sex is all about reproduction and not about much more. The building desire men have for sex can be loosely compared to a filling bladder. That bladder must be emptied or the urge becomes all consuming. If there is any doubt about that, simply ask yourself why the oldest profession is the oldest profession.

When a relationship is new an artificially high libido is present. That can distort the reality that once that wears off you get what you get. That is why it is important to ask the question very early on what the libido is of the other. It truly is not an improper question as it helps to avoid problems down the road.

Sex is also very important to our physical and mental health, and that is why it should not be overlooked or taken lightly as if an option in any relationship. To use depravation of sex as leverage ultimately will backfire.

If you are having a problem with your relationship, you should seek the help of a counselor or therapist that deals with both relationships and sexual issues. In the long run it is much less expensive than a costly divorce that can scar you emotionally and most definitely financially.