Respect or disrespect

when it comes to how some cultures see other cultures there certainly can be some confusion. Where in one case what is seen as respect for party ‘A’, is seen as disrespect for party ‘B’.

At some point we grow up and are considered adults. Governments and laws see that to be about 18 in most places, some cultures and families seem to think that the age of being an independent adult can never be reached. For those families, the younger adults in the family are still treated like children. When that happens, someone from another culture sees that as disrespect for the younger adult. Decisions on what to do or who to see are governed by the elders in that family, and that simply makes that younger adult a candidate for psychotherapy when they get older as it completely erodes self confidence and self esteem.

In Thailand and particularly in the northeast in an area known as Isaan this practice is still being done. So when it comes time for a female to answer the call of nature and seek out a potential husband, the family insist on meeting the potential husband candidate even before they go on the first date. This is very simply a form of control and the elders will decide what comes of that relationship and not her.

In India children are pawns in a social game and have their mates selected by others in the family often before they are out of diapers. This is seen as disrespectful by other cultures as when they become adults they are forced into a relationship that frequently ends in disaster. Although some work, the percentage is much lower than if they were allowed to find their own spouse. Often social pressure is applied such as being disowned from family wealth if they do not comply. This sort of passive persuasion just provides a false sense of ‘They decided on their own so we did make the right choice for them.’

There are other countries and other cultures that see it normal to disallow some adults to live their own lives and make their own choices with women often being the victim of this disrespect. The basics of selecting your own friends or life partners is for the most part a personal choice.

There are some arguments on both sides of this as there are occasional odd couple matches that parents feel obliged to step in and override the choices of their children. But for the most part this is before they reach the age of 18 and raging hormones are standing in the way of seeing the selection is nothing more than trouble waiting to happen. One such example is a girl hooking up with someone who clearly looks to spend the majority of his adult life incarcerated for one thing or another. But this for the most part does not count as this is before that magic age that governments see them as adults.

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